1. I have a job.  At that job they expect me to show up, like every day!  Or at least 5 out of 7.  Although most days, specifically days like today, I try not to remember that once upon a time I wished for this job.  Not just a job but this exact job.  I clearly recall saying a prayer for employment that was; in the industry I loved, close to home, reasonably relaxed atmosphere, decent pay.  Yep. I got all that but I still don’t love my job every second of the work week and I don’t want to get up and go sometimes.  Especially today but….
2. I have kids.  Even though they aren’t toddlers and don’t necessarily need me or at least not like they used to, they wouldn’t starve or be in danger of electrocution by way of a fork in an electrical outlet if I did not motivate my self to get vertical today they still need me to get up.  Sure, they pretty much tend to themselves, get dressed, ready for school, etc but the fact remains I have kids and they need me to show them that no matter what, we get up.  We keep going.  We trudge along, grudgingly if need be but trudge we must.  Even if we are angry or afraid or….
3. Have moderate to severe back pain.  Which I do sometimes and I could easily exaggerate it a smidge allowing me to play hooky with not too many lasting repercussions.  Sure having back pain may be a valid excuse for some but for me it’s not constant or debilitating but that’s because I am not laying in bed all day!  So, as much as snuggling deep under these blankets and forgetting about the world seems like a the most brilliant of all ideas my little noggin has ever popped out I know that a few hours in my back is not going to be congratulating my brain on its brilliance.  No, its going to be irritated and irate that another chiro appointment is needed.  Besides….
4. There’s no TV in my room.  What am I gonna do once the day really gets going and I am still bundled up here?  Our room is boring.  We are “the parents” now.  We have no TV, no cable, no Netflix in our room.  I guess I could slink to the couch but then I would be….getting up!  (Oh no!! Mission failed!)  In addition to having no TV, my bedroom sincerely lacks one thing I strive for every day….
5. The opportunity to be of service.  In my room there is a fluffy, comfy bed and two brand new nightstands with mirrored fronts, fancy lights underneath and a secret hidden charging station for my phone.  There is laundry piled up and some funky jewelry and a cool print I salvaged from the Goodwill and yep, absolutely ZERO chance of being of service to any one.  That’s no bueno for me.  If I do not have a way to help another then guess what happens to me?
6. Depression.  Depression happens to me if I lie in bed.  It swallows me up.  It drags me down and buries me under mountains of self loathing and shame.  It eats away at the light of my spirit and reminds me of all the guilt I’ve worked so hard to erase.  It clouds my heart with doubt.  I have never been one for clouds, instead I like….
7. Sunshine.  The sun is up right now.  It is up and I am laying here debating why I should be allowed to not be.  I love the sunshine, especially on these cold-ish, winter-ish mornings.  True, I live in Southern California where winter is a flavor at Starbucks instead of an actual season but 54 degrees is still not 80 and sometimes there is even frost on my patio furniture! So while I would like to lay here and begrudge the Suns ability to rise effortlessly I wont.  You see I have…
8. Been here and done this before.  Back when I was crazy (or crazier!)  Back when I gave up on everything and every one I ever loved including one of those kids I am responsible for.  Back when I gave up on life and living and God and any hope for the future.  Yes, I have been here before.  I have stayed in bed for hours, for days, for weeks.  I stayed cooped up and clocked out of the beautiful wreck that was my life.  I denied God existed and thought myself irreparable.  Yes, I have been here before and though sometimes it may pull me, I can not go back because I have witnessed…
9. Miracles.  Big ones and little ones.  Magical ones and lackluster ones.  I have seen things that can not be unexplained and yet I know for certain exactly what they were.  I have seen that miracles are everywhere and at a moments notice.  However, I can not recall, even with my super elephantesque memory, ever having seen one while laying in my bed avoiding life.  The truth is….
10. I can and some can not.  I can physically get up.  Some can not.  I can be of service to others.  Some can not.  I can be open to the miracles that bless us every day.  Some can not.  I can take steps, make choices, do what is needed to avoid slipping back into depression.  Some can not.  It is not their fault, it is not a fault at all.  It is only that we are each on our own paths.  My path has instilled in me…
11. A Fear Of Missing Out. I am not afraid of a missed opportunity for selfies or of elaborated social media posts.  I fear missing out on one single moment of the second chance that I was given.  I fear missing out on the possibility of using my powers for good instead of evil.  I fear wasting another moment of this fleeting time I was gifted on selfish, self serving behaviors.  We can debate Gods existence, we can argue about Quantum Mechanics and metaphysics but the truth is….
12. Pee is real. Quantum mechanics and metaphysics aside.  Physiologically, my bladder is only going to let me lie here for so long and then regardless of my selfish wants or childish desires I am gonna have to get up to pee.  Those two kids ensured that when I have to pee its time to get up.  Once I am up to pee then whats the point in returning to bed?  The only thing I will need at that point is a toothbrush because I have some seriously….
13. Fuzzy teeth.  They can not stay this way.  I will roll over, throw off these blankets, slip on my slippers, make my way to the bathroom and brush my teeth.  It is one of those things I hated doing as a kid.  I would avoid it at all costs.  Such a boring waste of time but as an adult there are few things that compare to freshly brushed teeth and
14. Coffee.  Maybe this one shoulda been closer to the top and this list would have been faster to type and possibly a lot more wordy.    Which leads me to my last reason and one of my favorite words….
15. Blessed. I am blessed to be able to have a job to complain about and a bed to lie in. I am blessed with my two chuckle head kids and the rewards of being their mom.  I am blessed with occasional back pain so I can be grateful for when I am not hurting.  I am blessed with opportunities to be of service and with miracles I did not deserve.  I am blessed with so many moments of joy and divine revelations full of deep understanding and with love.  I am blessed with and surrounded by love in more ways than I could have ever imagined in those dark and lonely days.   And coffee.

In a few minutes I will be out of bed and I will definitely be blessed with White Chocolate Macadamia Nut creamer sweetened, french pressed, piping hot delicious coffee.   Thanks God, for all of it.  Especially the coffee.