Eavesdropping is my God given right!
My kids are unusually open with me. As a result they tend to tell me more than I am comfortable with at times. They tell me things about their bodies, their sexuality, their sexual adventures or misadventures. I know and trust this. I am slightly awed and afraid of this even though I have spent years cultivating it. My husband is not at this level and he is also totally ok with not being at this level. Often times he tells me he prefers the not knowing and will ask me to not tell him certain stories or details that make things a little too real. He is embracing the ignorance is bliss option typically afforded only to Dads.
Yet even our super-cool level of trust and honesty doesn’t stop me from eaves-dropping on them if I happen to catch an interesting conversation going down. This is my God given right and one of the few joys of parenting. I over heard this dazzler on the Christmas break.
Ollie: …yeah, she’s on the Slut Squad.
Ethan: The Slut Squad? Please clarify.
Ollie: It’s a group of 6th grade girls. They are called the Slut Squad. Well, we call them that cuz they all have boyfriends and have all had their first kiss…Total girly girls. All they care about is having boyfriends. So lame.
Ethan: …(pauses in thought)…..It’s not cool to slut shame.
I am still hiding in the hallway trying not to laugh out loud, silently beaming that both my kids have made me proud in this completely unorthodox conversation. While relief sweeps through me as my nearly twelve year old daughter is content with herself, doesn’t need validation from boys, is happy in her skin and is strong enough to stay true to her own path. I am more impressed that my twenty one year old son cares enough about women and their worth that instead of laughing, asking more questions or putting them down further he used this moment to remind us that all women, even prepubescent 6th graders, are free to choose their own way and should not be judged or condemned for it, least of all by another female.
I cant say that my eavesdropping always nets such grand prizes. Typically it is more things I wish I hadn’t heard or known but this time I am glad to have caught them. God, I am delighted in this moment. I am beyond grateful for these two crazy nuts I love so much. Thank you for men who are feminists and girls who can live out from under the shadows of our antiquated patriarchy. Thank you Slut Squad for letting me know my kids are alright.